Kids, books, restrooms.

Oh Dear. I haven't posted in 14 days. What can I say except "stay tuned?"

The Adventures of Penny, Part V

I haven't had much time recently, so this is a short one, but at least Penny isn't left hanging altogether! Enjoy :)
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Hazel felt as if she and Penny had been running for hours when they finally got downtown. Her throat was dry and parched, and her feet were sore and blistered (in part due to poor footwear choice – flipflops). They stopped running when they saw the beautiful Pentragopolis skyline. Hazel looked at Penny, and instantly noticed that her breath was even and deep instead of shallow and labored like Hazel’s. She must be in really good shape, thought Hazel. Why would that be? For as long as Hazel had known Penny, Penny had been the artistic introverted one; she’d never known her to be outdoors-y or athletic.

“Where exactly do the Ninjas congregate?” Penny asked Hazel pointedly.
“a block away from Plazana tower.”
“Right.” Said Penny. Penny and Hazel each took a deep breath, and began the final leg of their journey. Penny was slightly surprised to hear that the Zombie Ninjas congregated only a block away from the bustling financial district of Petragopolis. Didn’t criminals usually hang out in the ghettos?

Upon their arrival to Zombie Ninja territory, Penny and Hazel looked around. There wasn’t a human soul around. They were in a narrow, dark alley and their nostrils were filled with the odors that inevitably emerge from moisture and stillness. Their shoes on the wet concrete made sticky, squishy sounds that seemed to reverberate loudly in the eerie stillness.

“Now what are we going to do, Hazel?!” demanded Penny, too infuriated to hide her irritation.
“I don’t know.” Said Hazel. But right as she said it, they heard a loud ‘clack, clack’ of shoes from around the corner, and they seemed to be moving closer and closer. Penny and Hazel merely stood rooted to the spot, too overwhelmed to move. A few moments later, a dark figure emerged about 50 yards away from them. The figures arms were casually at his sides, and he stopped briefly before recommencing his slow ‘clack, clack’ toward Penny and Hazel.

World Domination via chocolate soy milk and applesauce?

If you shop at Aldi (a minimal service international grocery store chain), you can buy: a loaf of bread, yogurt, toilet paper, soy milk, applesauce containers, and frozen vegetables all for the price of... get this... under six dollars. Yes, I said it. Everything for a total under six dollars.

Clearly, this is like heaven on earth for the chronically stingy. Basically, everything is half of what you'd pay at your local Piggly Wiggly or what have you. So, nag away on your loved ones to go to Aldi, if you are the nagging type. Or, in the alternative, if you just want to snap up this bone that the beauty of capitalism has thrown your way, go get your own ten cent loaf of bread. Just think of it this way, for the price of a martini at a downtown bar, you could feed a small army for a week.

This also leads inquiring minds to ask... how do they keep their costs so low? Rational minds will argue that their lack of services, frills, and minimal adherence to brand names keeps stuff cheap. Let's not dwell on logic, though. I prefer to conspiracy theorize. Perhaps there is some sort of international money laundering going on. Perhaps the food is encoded with secret messages to organizations intent on world domination.

Some would say that my desire to conspiracy theorize is born purely out of entertainment value. That is likely. However, such thinking never slashed the price of yogurt in half while facilitating underground secret organization communiques.
To do your own investigation or to find an Aldi near you, go to: http://aldi.com/